Hey Ass-kickers!

Welcome to episode 79 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Thank you so much for being here and joining our guest for today’s show, Tara Mohr. Tara is an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. She is the author of Playing Big and is the creator of the leadership program for women of the same name.

Tara holds an MBA from Stanford and an undergraduate degree from Yale; she is a Coaches Training Institute-certified coach who helps women play bigger and share their voices in work and in life. She’s been featured in The New York Times, on the Today Show and in the Harvard Business Review. Her fans include Jillian Michael, Maria Shriver and Elizabeth Gilbert!

On today’s show we talk about dealing with your inner critic, some of her 10 rules for brilliant women and how to decipher the stories we make up versus what actually happened in our lives.

Welcome to episode 78 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! As always I’m excited you are here and so happy to bring you our guest: Ms. Jamie Mendell.

Jamie is a health and lifestyle coach who helps women master their lives by diving deep into self-care healing, with a particular focus on food and body issues. She’s a regular contributor to Women’s Health and Huffington Post.

On today’s show Jamie shares with us her decade-long struggle with food, dieting/bingeing and her weight, and how she finally made a lasting change. She talks about what self-care actually means (it’s not just manis and pedis!), the healing power of self-care, and how she got real and got vulnerable with the people in her life.

Hey Ass-kickers!

Welcome to episode 77 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today I’ve brought you yet another amazing guest, Megan Hale. Megan is a retired psychotherapist, enoughness coach and women’s leadership mentor. She advocates courageous, authentic living and helps her clients break free from limiting personal beliefs to live brave, whole lives.  

Megan joins us to discuss her courageous and powerful journey to being who she is today and what she’s doing, the concept of worthiness, and her 5 steps to having enough and staying enough!

Hey Ass-kickers!

Welcome to episode 76 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! I’m excited - as always - to bring you today’s guest, Terri Cole, whom I met and bunked with at Soul Camp. Terri joins us to talk about getting her PhD in fear via two life-changing experiences, and how she found freedom from that fear for herself and is sharing it with the world today.

Terri is a licensed therapist, transformation coach and de facto expert on turning fear into freedom. For nearly two decades she’s worked to help celebrities, athletes and everyday people redesign their limiting beliefs to create extraordinary lives.

Hey Ass-kickers!

Welcome to episode 75 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today we have yet another amazing guest: Rebekah Borucki, or Bex as she likes to be called. Bex is the founder of Bex’s Life and The Blissed-In Movement; she’s also the mother of 5 kids (!), a popular YouTuber, TV host, yoga and meditation expert, Hay House author, and birth doula.

This powerhouse woman is here to talk about using meditation for exploration and for self-care, how to find the joy in everything we do (even the things we dread doing) and why living authentically is such a powerful example to set for everyone in our lives.

Two weeks ago I posted a personal story of mine that walked you through the decade of my 20’s. 

What I want to talk about specifically in this post is the topic of personal responsibility. I mentioned it in that post and also wrote a more specific post about that a few weeks prior.

There's a common misconception around personal responsibility and that is that taking responsibility for one's actions and mistakes equals self-blame. That in order to take responsibility, we must blame ourselves for the behaviors and actions we have taken that we're not proud of and subsequently feel like shit.

Bottom line: this is not true. It doesn’t have to be black or white.

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 73 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! My friend, fellow life coach and therapist Dr. Eris is here with us today. Some of you may recognize her, she’s been featured with Dr. Drew, Nancy Grace, NPR, Entertainment Tonight, and she’s also a star of Bravo's LA Shrinks television show. She’s also the author of Emergency Break-up.

On this edition of the show we talk about real sh*t that matters! Dr. Eris gets real about what her relationships were like before her marriage, why rock bottom is a great place to start, and how to keep the sexy in your marriage even with young kids around.

Preface: I got this email awhile back from an ass kicker:

“The first podcast I heard from you, you seemed like a perky, outgoing blonde – and these are all great things, but I must admit, when looking at you, we might think “oh, she’s never been through anything. Yeah, she has great things to say, but does she know what this is like?” ….and then upon listening further, I learned your earlier life actually very much mirrors my own. It was not only comforting but also a lesson learned about first impressions.” -YKAL blog reader

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I’ve been sitting on this blog post/podcast episode for months now, unpublished. It’s a huge part of my story, what went on in my 20′s emotionally that led me to my big breakdown/breakthrough in 2006. I’ve hesitated to take the leap and publish it because it’s long, it’s probably the most imperfect piece of writing I’ve ever written, but mostly because every time I take a giant leap into vulnerability I still hear the voice of “OMG what will people think of you?”

But, the truth is (and I know this from experience…and science) is that we all have a painful story. And the more we abandon it and keep it locked up the more painful it is and it helps no one. And really, that’s just shitty.

What I know for sure is that we can’t bury our stories alive and expect them to die. They don’t. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I feel lucky to get to share my stories here. Sometimes scared, but still lucky. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

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Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 71 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Our amazing guest for this show is Jen Sincero, a New York Times best-selling author, renowned speaker and success coach.

From helping people find their soulmate to negotiating million dollar deals to writing best-selling books of their own, she’s helped people around the world transform their personal and professional lives.

On today’s edition we talk about the power of surrender, why creativity isn’t limited to just art, and powerful exercises to get clear on who you are and why you’re here.

Shame seems to be a buzzword these days, isn’t it? And it’s a good thing-- people talking more about the things that hold them back and keep them unhappy.

But, what I see over and over again are women saying, “I get and love when you talk about the inner-critic, perfectionism, and even not feeling good enough...but I don’t get the whole ‘shame’ thing and I don’t think I actually have any”.

And I get it. I think we might think of people walking around with shame that have done unthinkable things. Caught embezzling money from their church and the whole congregation knows. Caught having an affair with their psychiatrist and people are whispering around town about it. Or the kid whose mom is an alcoholic and comes drunk to the school play, things like that. But, what I’ve come to know, is that shame is much more common than we think and most of the time, shame happens in much smaller scenarios. And I hate to break it to those of you that think you’re the exception to shame, but ALL of us have it.

And if we’re not facing and claiming that we have shame, processing it, and learning how to move through it, then shame is owning us and we’re in a constant state of running from it.

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 69 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today’s show has already become one of my personal favorites, I’m so excited to bring it to you. My long-time friend and master certified life coach Susan Hyatt is here with us! Susan has been coaching for a decade and has thousands of fans, including Dr. Martha Beck and Maria Shriver!

And one of the things that has won her so many fans is the fact that she walks her talk. She’s used coaching techniques to drop 35 pounds, revitalize her marriage and uplevel her career.

On today’s show we discuss a mishmash of topics including why body issues are holding women back from leading big lives, what we can do right now to make peace with our bodies and why it’s so important to take big risks!

I was having a conversation with my friend Kate-- I’m not even sure what we were discussing and I started telling her about about how amazing it felt to finally take responsibility for my life. Let me back up…

I hit my own rock bottom in early 2007. About a year prior to that my husband had left me for another woman, and I immediately got into a new relationship. This new boyfriend ended up being a drug addict and faked cancer to cover up his addiction. Our break-up was horrible. I found myself on the floor of my apartment, crying my eyes and begging The Universe to help me. Not to spoil the story-- but the Universe did show up to help me, however there was something really important I had to do first.

See, the reason I found myself in two back-to-back messed up situations was because I made two very big mistakes in my life: 1) I looked to other people to make me happy and 2) when it didn’t work out I blamed them. For everything. My addiction to control was so strong I had unknowingly convinced myself that if only I could make other people change, I would be happy. If they would just do and be what I said, everything would be fine. Throw in some perfectionism and avoiding feeling my feelings and I was a serious mess.

But, that day when I picked myself up off the floor, I knew one thing: The only thing these situations had in common was me. My ex husband and ex boyfriend were not solely responsible for my feelings and future. Sure, what they did was lame, but I had to take total responsibility for myself. For once.

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 67 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! On today’s show we’re talking with the one and only Dr. Amy Johnson. Amy is a social psychologist and master certified coach who helps people see their true default nature is wellness and clarity, even when they don’t see it themselves!

Amy is also an accomplished speaker; she has been a regular guest expert on The Steve Harvey Show, and has been published often in The Wall Street Journal, SELF magazine and Oprah.com.

During our talk today, Amy and I dialogue about all things brain-related! We discuss the remarkably simple way our brains work, why understanding that simplicity and following it leads to an easier life and the important role curiosity and suspicion play in examining our own stories and opening up to new ways of being.

You know that person everyone falls in love with the second he or she walks into a room? He or she doesn’t necessarily have to be gorgeous, or start throwing cash around the room. No, this person just has “something” that draws others in. And you’d give your right arm to know what it is that is so super awesome about that person. She isn’t necessarily even charming or charismatic; she just seems to radiate something that is magnetic.

I’ll save you the endless nights awake trying to figure out what it is.

Truth: That person loves herself. The end.

Confidence is about believing in yourself. Self-esteem is about believing in your worth.

Self-love is both of those wrapped up into one, plus more. It’s like the perfect feast for your soul.

And at the same time, self-love can be this mysterious, elusive thing. Ask a woman what her menstrual cycle is like or how she takes her coffee and she can tell you in great detail. But ask her about self-love and you’ll probably get a blank stare.

If you’re not sure whether you love yourself, here’s a quick quiz:

Do you think you’re awesome?

Do you love yourself unconditionally? (In other words, do you put conditions on your self-love such as your weight, salary, relationship status, etc.?)

Do you go after your goals while deep down knowing you are worthy of attaining them?

If you answered “no” to any or all of these questions, we’ve got some work to do, sister!

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 65 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today we’ve got a topic I’m super excited to dive into and share with you: healing through creativity.

And we have a very special guest to share her wisdom on this subject: Rachael Rice. Rachael is an artist, writer, teacher, and speaker who travels the world performing and creating non-stop like a BOSS. She believes and teaches others to express themselves, and embrace the healing that happens in the process.

On today’s show we talk about why it’s so hard for us to be still (eek!), why humans are meaning-making machines (and how to deal with it) and how to redefine and understand yourself as a creative being.

I do my best to listen when I hear the universe speaking to me. For one, I know I was put on this earth to teach and inspire. One of those things is to teach people how to love themselves. And I’ll be honest- when I went into business for myself and followed my intuition that told me to teach about self-love, I had this belief that self-love is a hard sell. In the beginning I had this made up notion that people only wanted solutions to 3 things:

How to be thin.
How to find their soul mates.
How to have more money.

The end.

Self love didn’t fit anywhere into that equation for people looking for what made them happy. Unless I was selling those three things, I was doomed as an entrepreneur.

Welcome to episode 63 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! I’m thrilled to bring you this episode with life coach, master communicator and my very best friend, Amy E. Smith. Amy hosts a podcast called The Joy Junkie with her hubs, Mr. Smith. On the podcast and in her business Amy helps people find their voice, and stand up for themselves (without being a dick).

I brought her on the show to talk about self-love: what it is and how to practice it no matter who you are or where you are in your life. We get into the common misconceptions and pitfalls about self-love, why loving yourself actually helps you change your life and why choosing self-love is a daily practice.

I may very well be pissing off the personal development Gods today, but bear with me.

If you dabble in self-help at all, you’ve probably heard the advice of not taking things personally. If you’re new to this advice or need some clarification, what the message is saying is: If you take the words and actions of others personally, it’s easy to fall into the victim role, spend your life chasing approval from others, and just generally making everything about you when it isn’t. I totally get that and agree.

But, here’s what I don’t like and what I take issue with. People hear this advice and look at it as being very black or white. Either we don’t take things personally at all and feel good about ourselves, or we do take things personally and live in this hellfire and brimstone world of damnation where we are victims and prey to others. Yes, that was dramatic, but sometimes self-help can be make people feel like YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 61 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today we’re revisiting two familiar and favorite topics: perfectionism and shame. And joining us is one of my favorite people ever - Rebecca Bass-Ching.

Rebecca is a certified Daring Way™ facilitator and consultant. She’s also a licensed marriage and family therapist with her own multi-therapist practice. I had the honor of working with her as a client while also becoming certified in The Daring Way™ and I’m thrilled she’s here for this episode.

On today’s show we dive right into the thick of it. We define what shaming is, draw the connection between perfectionism, vulnerability and shaming, and discuss how to develop and practice courage in our everyday lives.

Self sabotage. You know what that is, right? When you want to change really bad. And you know what needs to get done in order to change. But, instead of doing what needs to get done, you do the opposite. Or nothing at all.

Here’s an example: You find out there’s a position open at work that you’re qualified for and it would be a promotion. You need to reach out to your boss to tell her you want to be considered for this.You figure...you’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and you’ll maybe send her an email at the end of the day. Next thing you know you’ve procrastinated all week and now it’s Friday, the last day to submit your interest.

So, why, why, why do we do this? I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve worked with that have had a homework assignment (that THEY have assigned to themself) and when I ask them about it later they sheepishly tell me they didn’t do it. When they had all the time and resources in the world to get it done.

WHY? Temporary insanity? Time stopped? Kidnapped by aliens?

Nope. It’s simply self sabotage. And maybe I shouldn’t say “simply”. Because sometimes it’s far from simple.

The bottom line is that self-sabotage is that it’s a way to feel safe. It happens A LOT when people realize where they are and they don’t like it, then they see what they could have if they change. Even though they want to change, the thought of going through the action of changing is too damn scary.

In the last 5 years of YKAL, I’ve received many emails from women asking me questions...the proverbial “what is wrong with me??” (short answer- nothing.) But, they just want to stop feeling like they're feeling and start feeling better, happier, and more comfortable. We all want that, right? 

Hey ass kickers! Ready for another episode of the YKAL podcast? I’m chatting with Christine Hassler, author of 3 books, including her latest: Expectation Hangover. Christine speaks our language, y’all! Just a bit about her background-- she  graduated from college, moved to LA, got the swanky job in Hollywood rubbing elbows with a-listers (like George Clooney- hellllooo!) and she was miserable-- even to the point of trying to talk herself into liking her job. She left, and ever since has been helping people get out of their own way to make meaningful impacts in their lives. 

Earlier this year I was having a conversation with someone about  The Daring Way program which is an intense, 5 month 1:1 coaching program. During our conversation she’d said she wanted to go deep. She told me all the dreams she had for her life. She said she was ready to dive in.

Then she emailed me to ask about a shorter program and that she didn’t have time for the intensive work.

Then I felt my head explode.

Hello there ass kicker!

Today’s guest on the YKAL podcast is waaaay overdue. Amy Ahlers, author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves is here to talk to us about all things inner mean girl!

We all love formulas and processes and Amy has come up with a 3-step process for transforming your inner mean girl, which she talks about in the episode. 

Welcome to another episode of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. Today I’ve got my first duo: Alison and Michelle of Soul Camp!

Alison is a body confidence coach with a background in communication design, nutrition and Reiki. She’s also an expert logo and brand designer for soul-centered businesses; she’s been making all the new images for this show.

Michelle grew up on a nature preserve, where her mother created and ran a spiritual retreat community. She’s long been committed to living a conscious, healthy, awakened life. She and Alison have combined their talents and passions to create Soul Camp, a multi-day and multi-night event that’s like a woo-woo sleepaway camp for grown-ups!

I’m very excited for a SPECIAL episode of the podcast today. I’m taking a *tiny* break from talking about all things personal development and today I’m diving in to something that so many people ask me about: The business of life coaching.

My guest today is my friend Jo Casey who has a legit British accent for starters and is just amazing. Jo has been coaching for like 150 years so she really knows her stuff!

Even if you’ve for one hot second thought about becoming a life coach, this episode is for you. 

Welcome to today’s episode of Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! We’ve got another amazing woman joining us today: Liz DiAlto of Wild Soul Movement.

Liz is an author, speaker and coach; she’s been called the love child of Danielle LaPorte, Mae West and Shakira. Her mission is to get women out of their heads and back into their bodies to connect with their powerful energy and trust their intuition. I love this episode because I find it challenging to get “into my body”. And I think most of us don’t even know what that’s like!

She brings her raw, feisty truth to the show today. We dive into what it means to get into our bodies, her five keys to accepting ourselves before improving ourselves and the art of receiving.

Welcome to another episode of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! My friend Randi joins us to talk about the all-important topic of boundaries and how nice people set ‘em.

Randi is THE expert of experts! She’s a life coach, hard truth-talker and creative producer of products that encourage women to step into their truth, and transform their inner and interpersonal struggles. Trust me, I KNOW boundaries are difficult and we ALL struggle with them-- whether it’s family members, co-workers, or our neighbors, we could all use some help in this area, right?

On today’s show she shares with us how creating our own container of what we want in our lives sets our boundaries, what gardens have to do with boundaries and ultimately why we struggle with boundaries so much.

Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to another episode of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today we’ve got the amazing, super-powered Fabeku Fatunmise. Fabeku is a one-of-a-kind coach who helps creative supernovas and forces of nature folks crank up their businesses and find their super powers.

On today’s episode we talk about the differences when we’re being big versus when we’re being small and how to shift into big, the misconception of fearlessness (ew!) and also how to find your super power.

Fabeku is like many of us: he’s dealt with perfectionism and the belief that if he wasn’t perfect, he was worthless. He says buying into this belief limits not just what we do in life, but what we believe is possible. He would know, he spent nearly three decades living as though this belief were true.

Welcome to another episode of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! I’m so excited for you to meet our guest for today’s show, Tiffany Han. Tiffany is a business coach who helps creative women, like bloggers, graphic designers and cubicle jailbirds, take bold and inspired action. She helps her clients say YES to big things they’ve always wanted to start and to say YES to themselves! YES YES YES! Phew…got a little excited there.

On today’s episode we talk about her 100 rejection letters program, the kind of rejection you should expect when you sign up for the program, and how to set guidelines when you’re choosing an accountability partner in your life.

Today we’ve got the talented and savvy Tonya Leigh. Tonya is a master-certified life coach who has spoken to global audiences. As the CEO of French Kiss Life, her company, she is on a mission to inspire women to cultivate lives of joie de vivre.

After you hear my very bad attempt at French, we talk about the origins of French Kiss Life; it was born out of Tonya’s experience in Paris ten years ago. She was in the Luxembourg Gardens and noticed lovers kissing (I didn’t ask if there was lots of slobbery tongue), people were strolling about and generally enjoying their lives; all of which was in direct contrast to how she felt: overwhelmed, stressed and overwrought by everything that was wrong in her life.

In that moment Tonya knew she too wanted to enjoy every day of her own life. She wanted to go after what she wanted without struggle and discomfort, instead with ease and grace and enjoyment.

She came home with the mission to seek quality and make every day as beautiful as possible, and to make the journey to the dream as beautiful as the dream itself! YAHOOOO!

I’m so glad you’re here for another episode of Your Kick-Ass Life. Today we’ve got the fabulous Christina Dunbar. Christina is an actress, poet, activist and women’s leader. She offers programs for artists, entrepreneurs and wild women helping them take the stage and share their own soul story. She’s also the inspiration and creator behind her one-woman show, Dirty Me Divine.

Recently Christina boldly and courageously created a Kickstarter campaign to fund her show. She says it was the most vulnerable and scary thing she’s ever done!

On this episode we dive into that experience fully as well as what it means to take a stand, and why that is often difficult for women, and what steps we can take to express our unique voices.

Today we’ve got another great guest and awesome show for you. She is a self-described “sensitive bad ass” who has made friends with fear and shares that friendship with you on her web site, Who is Ch!ck?. She is the one and only Kai Soremaken.

Kai and I have similar stories and experiences: we were both in awful relationships, and yet we both turned our lives around. For Kai the turning point was when her ex (whom she refers to as MF, I’ll let you figure out what that stands for!) held her at knifepoint for an entire evening.

With the help of a friend and Kai’s brother, she was able to get away and give herself enough space and time to rebuild her shattered self-esteem. Her MF did come back, but she had healed enough that she could say no way, and she did.

But that was just the beginning of her journey. She felt incredibly angry for the next year at her ex until she had an epiphany while at the gym. Her ah-ha moment was understanding she was responsible for her life, including being in that relationship. That was it, she was done blaming him and she took the reigns of her own well-being, healing and happiness.

Hello Ass kickers!

I’m super excited for y’all to hear this episode with my friend and colleague Laura Probasco. Laura is a mega ass-kicker and she brings it on today’s show. Her background is in social work and play therapy and she’s well-schooled in Brené Brown’s teachings which is how we first connected.

Laura is the founder of Probasco and Associates as well as the co-founder of The Art of Play, a play therapy training program for individuals, schools and organizations. She has taken her work around the globe interacting with people from all walks of life.

On this episode we dive into topics like vulnerability hangovers, hotwiring emotional connections, and the link between isolation and perfectionism.

Today we’ve got another great episode for you with my long-time friend and super awesome all-around woman, Kate Courageous. Kate is a coach, writer and speaker who teaches people about working with fear, how to practice with courage in the face of fear.

I brought Kate on because this topic is ever-present for most of us and something I continue to be committed to working on in my own life, and sharing that journey with all of you. Too often we think we’re being courageous by doing everything on our own and “handling” our problems by ourselves because we don’t want to bother or burden others. This is you, right? Thought so!

Although Kate now teaches that these are just voices in our heads, and we must do what’s contrary to them in order to grow. Kate teaches, and I concur, that it’s when we ask for others’ support that we are most courageous.

Today I’ve got a truly kick ass and awesome show for you with my feisty friend Jenny Perry, author of Sexpot with Stretch Marks. Not only is she an amazing writer, she’s also a vivacious mother of 5 on the Jersey shore. On episode 43 we talk about what it means to be fulfilled versus happy, the power of your attention and why you should become your own BFF.

On the topic of fulfillment versus happiness, Jenny and I both agree they are two different states. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, often based on something external (looks, income, achievements, etc) or some sort of criteria we’ve created for ourselves. But fulfillment is a state of mind, something you feel deep in your soul and a space you can be in no matter what is happening around you.