Hey Ass kickers!

Welcome to episode 61 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today we’re revisiting two familiar and favorite topics: perfectionism and shame. And joining us is one of my favorite people ever - Rebecca Bass-Ching.

Rebecca is a certified Daring Way™ facilitator and consultant. She’s also a licensed marriage and family therapist with her own multi-therapist practice. I had the honor of working with her as a client while also becoming certified in The Daring Way™ and I’m thrilled she’s here for this episode.

On today’s show we dive right into the thick of it. We define what shaming is, draw the connection between perfectionism, vulnerability and shaming, and discuss how to develop and practice courage in our everyday lives.

Self sabotage. You know what that is, right? When you want to change really bad. And you know what needs to get done in order to change. But, instead of doing what needs to get done, you do the opposite. Or nothing at all.

Here’s an example: You find out there’s a position open at work that you’re qualified for and it would be a promotion. You need to reach out to your boss to tell her you want to be considered for this.You figure...you’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and you’ll maybe send her an email at the end of the day. Next thing you know you’ve procrastinated all week and now it’s Friday, the last day to submit your interest.

So, why, why, why do we do this? I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve worked with that have had a homework assignment (that THEY have assigned to themself) and when I ask them about it later they sheepishly tell me they didn’t do it. When they had all the time and resources in the world to get it done.

WHY? Temporary insanity? Time stopped? Kidnapped by aliens?

Nope. It’s simply self sabotage. And maybe I shouldn’t say “simply”. Because sometimes it’s far from simple.

The bottom line is that self-sabotage is that it’s a way to feel safe. It happens A LOT when people realize where they are and they don’t like it, then they see what they could have if they change. Even though they want to change, the thought of going through the action of changing is too damn scary.

In the last 5 years of YKAL, I’ve received many emails from women asking me questions...the proverbial “what is wrong with me??” (short answer- nothing.) But, they just want to stop feeling like they're feeling and start feeling better, happier, and more comfortable. We all want that, right? 

Hey ass kickers! Ready for another episode of the YKAL podcast? I’m chatting with Christine Hassler, author of 3 books, including her latest: Expectation Hangover. Christine speaks our language, y’all! Just a bit about her background-- she  graduated from college, moved to LA, got the swanky job in Hollywood rubbing elbows with a-listers (like George Clooney- hellllooo!) and she was miserable-- even to the point of trying to talk herself into liking her job. She left, and ever since has been helping people get out of their own way to make meaningful impacts in their lives.