Welcome to episode 87 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. I’m super happy you’re here for this show because today’s guest is an expert on a topic I get asked about all the time: work-life balance!

Dr. Jaime Kaluga is a licensed mental health counselor and a certified professional coach. She is an author whose work has appeared in issues of Glamour, Self and many other nationally-recognized publications. She is also an inspirational speaker and a woman on a mission! She has dedicated her life to helping women find balance and fulfillment in their lives.

During our conversation we talk about what work-life balance actually means, how perfectionism stops us from achieving that balance, and how emotions throw us off balance and what to do about it.

Preface: for the sake of this post and my point, I’m going to be very generalized here. I understand not all people and relationships are like this. I understand you may be the exception, but please bear with me...

I, in no way, shape, or form consider myself a relationship expert. That’s not specifically what I help women with, so I don’t typically write or talk about it. I do have lots of experience in relationships-- both failed and successful ones (okay, one successful relationship).

And having lots of failed relationships and then a successful one, I can tell you the key to making that shift:

Looking at my own shit, dealing with it, healing it, and repeating that process over and over.

What I see many women do (my former self included) is this:

You’re in a relationship and you’re not happy. It doesn’t matter what the specific problem is.
You break up with or divorce your partner.
You find a new partner, everything is great for a few months.
Then things go to shit.
You can’t figure out what’s wrong with the guys you pick. It’s the “same shit, different guy” syndrome.

The common denominator in all the failed relationships is you. Along with your beautiful self, you’re bringing all the unresolved issues from your childhood and past relationships. All your insecurities and pain. We all have it, none of us are exempt. But also, we all have the opportunity to look at it, own what’s ours and not our partners, work on healing it so we can be better humans to the people we care about.

Hey Ass-kickers!

Welcome to episode 85 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. Returning veteran of the show, my best friend and yours, Amy E. Smith is here to talk about the all-important art of standing up for yourself without being a dick!

If you haven’t heard Amy before or have forgotten her background she is a certified confidence coach, podcaster, renowned speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Through all of her endeavors she helps people find their voice using her particular brand of wit, wisdom and irreverence.

On today’s episode we delve into how to listen to the stories being told by your inner critic  (or as Amy calls it, your inner sh*t talker), what unwanted identities are, why all of us have them and what to do about it.

I’ve heard many times as a helping professional, “How many sessions do I need with you?” or “How long will it take me to get better?” To be honest, that’s always a red-flag. When I hear these questions I know the well-meaning potential client wants me to fix them. Wants me to do some voodoo magic where I take away their pain so they can skip into the sunset and feel immune to the pain of the world.

And the obvious truth is: I can’t. No one can.