Hey ass kickers! I am bringing you another episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. My “unqualified person” this week is my friend Kate Anthony, who helped me kick off this series several months ago. For newcomers, here’s a brief introduction to Kate: Kate Anthony is a certified life coach who specializes in helping moms decide whether they should stay in or leave their marriages. This week, Kate and I are talking about rape culture. Kate is truly kick-ass, one of my dearest friends, and someone I feel totally comfortable with unpacking this sensitive topic. And, rape culture is a lot to unpack.

As a reminder, before we get started, this is not an episode where I am teaching about rape culture. It’s an honest conversation between two unqualified people, emphasis on unqualified, about a very important and hard topic. We cover a lot, including what rape culture looks like, how we all participate in it, and some ways to start conversations with people about it.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Identifying rape culture and Kate’s experience with being slut-shamed in high school 
• Defining toxic masculinity 
• Our thoughts on Brett Kavanaugh and what he could have done to make the situation different
• Rape culture, protecting the internal patriarchy, and denial of sexual assault 
• How to start to have deeper conversations with others and take steps towards change 
• Bringing men into the conversation about rape culture and toxic masculinity
• Kate’s experience with today’s dating scene and why she has decided to take a step back from it 

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Okay, y’all-- there are two topics I’ve seen come up over the last few months during my retreats and programs. One is trusting women-- why do we have such a hard time with this and how do we overcome it?

The other is the concept of feeling “good enough”. Do we just decide this and wait for it? Is it a mindset issue? Or something else?

Join me on Friday, November 9th at 12:30 eastern time where I’ll break down these two topics and give you some tangible steps to take to make this happen in your life. As you know from my book HTSFLS, both of these topics are IMPERATIVE for you to stop feeling like shit and start living your kick-ass life. See you there! (And yes, a replay will be available)

No need to sign up for anything, just mark your calendar, and put THIS LINK in there. Then, on 11/9 at 12:30 eastern, click the link and join us! 😘😘😘

http://yourkickasslife.com/253

With recent events that are happening in the news in the U.S. surrounding the U.S. Supreme court nomination of Brent Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford coming forward with her story of sexual assault, I knew I needed to have a podcast on the topic of sexual trauma. While I do plan on having an episode where I speak with a friend on the topic of sexual assault, I knew how very important it was to have an expert on to discuss this topic, as well. Because, y’all, I am not an expert in this area, but as many of you know, finding an expert in a given field is something I take very seriously.

And that is why I am honored and grateful to be welcoming back to the show, Licensed Marriage and Family and Therapist, Rebecca Bass-Ching. Rebecca is also a Certified EMDR Therapist+Consultant, Trauma Therapist and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator. Today you’ll hear us speak on the topic of sexual trauma, including: feeling triggered by sexual assault stories in the news, navigating the differencing of opinions to sexual assault, healing and processing from sexual trauma and the all important fact that there is no time limit on healing.

Trigger warning: while we go into mostly surface level conversation related to sexual trauma and assault, it’s still a very tender topic. In fact, I let Rebecca really take the reigns in this episode because, as you’ll hear, I am still unpacking and navigating my own feelings too.  

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Some reasons why we may be feeling triggered, angered or on edge related to current events about sexual trauma or assault (8 minutes and 29 seconds)
• How to navigate feedback from people who have different opinions or reactions to sexual assault (14:02)
• Handling the question and red herring argument, “What if your son was falsely accused of sexual assault?” (21:21)
• Your memory network and trauma: remembering portions of trauma so very clearly (32:30)
• Healing from trauma is very inconvenient, plus we touch on residual trauma (34:35)
• The deep connection between sexism and racism (38:47)

http://yourkickasslife.com/252

This week on the podcast Shanna Lee joins me. She is founder of the platform The Soul Frequency and author of the book of the same name. And, guess what? I’m holding a contest this week over on Patreon. One winner will receive a copy of Shanna’s book, Soul Frequency: Your Healthy, Awakened and Authentic Life. If you haven’t joined the Patreon Party yet, which is in full swing, you still can. Head over to Patreon to participate in this contest or to become a Patron, here.

I know of Shanna because I was a guest on her podcast several months ago. Her message is very similar to the one I share with you here at YKAL. Once I learned she was about to release a book, I knew I wanted to have her on my show. Today,  we talk about some of the concepts she covers in her book, including how to align yourself with the life you want to be living. Plus, we talk about suppressed anger as a woman and how to open the door to it, being open to bad experiences and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• What The Soul Frequency actually means (9 minutes and 42 seconds)
• Shanna’s journey, and her own lesson of just showing up and being fully present (12:41)
• Walking your path, getting back into alignment with what feels good (15:48)
• Shanna’s anatomy of transformation and its four pillars: truth, release, experience, and align (19:02)
• Women’s anger and rage: your relationship around anger, how it's socially unacceptable, and ways to open the door to anger. (26:27)
• Being open to the bad that may be happening around you instead of shutting the door on it. (37:36)

http://yourkickasslife.com/251

I have a rich and amazing conversation with Rachel Foy for you this week on the YKAL Podcast. Rachel is an author, motivational teacher and the founder of the Soul Fed Woman. Rachel helps women overcome things like emotional eating, binge eating, and weight obsession. She helps them wake up and reclaim their lives so they are no longer missing from it. I am excited to bring you this topic today. But first, one quick note before we get started.

At the start of this episode,  I briefly share that I am gathering my thoughts on sexual assault all while trying to hold back my rage. I plan to talk about this tender topic in a future episode of Conversations About Shit that Matters with Unqualified People. Current events in our country, the #whyIdidntreport movement and the trauma many women have had to face, again, either due to reliving their own experiences or empathizing with that of another woman, is just too much. More on this topic will be coming soon. Okay, now back to today’s episode.

Today, Rachel and I talk about emotional eating and bringing awareness to your coping mechanisms. We also touch on the topics of body acceptance and fat-phobia. Plus, we talk about numbing out, making empowering choices, and some ways to overcome many issues women experience around food, diet culture and emotions.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• What to do when you start feeding your feelings with food (8 minutes and 50 seconds)
• Rachel’s own difficult journey with food obsession, eating disorders and dieting (10:32)
• Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD): what it is and how it can show up (15:15)
• Fat-phobic culture, preconceived perceptions, and breaking away from diet culture: stripping down fat-phobia (20:00)
• How to be emotionally fed and become a soulfed women (21:45)
• What to do if food is your only source of pleasure (26:17)
• Why we choose to numb out and some ways how to overcome it (34:05)

http://yourkickasslife.com/250

Joining me on the podcast this week is leading Latina psychotherapist, Christine Gutierrez, LHMC. Christine is the founder of Christineg.tv, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice. Christine also specializes in love addiction which happens to be the topic of today’s episode.

In this episode, we talked about healing from love addiction, Christine’s own experience with it and how she now helps clients move through the healing process. We also touched on codependency and love addiction red flags. It’s clear through my conversation with Christine that she has worked hard and tirelessly on learning how to trust in herself and lean into her biggest self. I’m happy to share our conversation with you.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• What love addiction is, how Christine’s early childhood experiences ultimately led to love addiction, and how she got on the path to healing (1 minute 47 seconds)
• The distinction between healthy, falling in love and love addiction (5:46)
• Some tips and tools for women struggling with love addiction (11:21)
• Christine’s journey to helping other women heal, the merging of the mundane and divine and what the word diosa means to her (17:43)
• How to experience more fierce love in your life (and what fierce love is, exactly) (25:32)

http://yourkickasslife.com/249