This week I welcome Dr. Valerie Rein to the YKAL podcast. Dr. Valerie discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the collective, inherited trauma of oppression. She is also the author of Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment.  

I met Dr. Valerie at an event late last year. I serendipitously sat at her table and as she was talking about her work and her book, I was enamored. In fact, I invited her onto the podcast on the spot. Her work is important, interesting, and backed by science.

When it comes to the patriarchy, as women, there is a deeper issue going on then the blame game. We are not going to heal by pointing fingers. My conversation with Dr. Valerie is just one step of many that will help move women towards healing from the patriarchy. 

In this episode you’ll hear:

• How Dr. Valerie discovered PSD and how her search began with asking the question, “What is wrong with me?” (5:00)
• Oppression is traumatic and it is deep in our DNA (10:04)
• Patriarchy does not equal men and men do not equal patriarchy, patriarchy is a system that has been oppressive and disempowering to women (14:00)
• PSD is the invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment and trauma defenses: mind, body, and action (15:00)
• Some of the symptoms or circumstances of PSD (and yes, we all have it) (19:00)
• Dr. Valerie’s message to men and how to bring them into the conversation and still take care of ourselves (32:06)

http://yourkickasslife.com/318

At the end of 2019, Facebook memories told me I posted this 10 years ago...

I found it so interesting that I’d posted this (I don’t at all remember what was going on that day), as the decade that was approaching did end up being a decade of tremendous change for me. 

Seeing this prompted me to think about the entire decade and do a “decade in review”. I thought I would share it with you in hopes that you see some of yourself in this and gain some insight from some of my own life lessons. 

In the episode, I start with January 2010, when I had a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, was finishing up my life coaching certification hours, and blogging under liveyourideallife.com. 

There were two moves across the United States, two book deals, sobriety, discovering our son had special needs, playing roller derby, my dad dying, and more. 

You’ll hear about the thing that truly threw me for a loop, and prompted a withdrawal and what that looked like for me. 

Ending the decade with an offer I couldn’t refuse. 

I close the episode with some life lessons I’ve learned on being a working mom, aging, and what it means to be happy. 

I hope you tune in and do your own decade in review! 

Lastly, applications are opening in February for the Mentorship Masterclass, my signature program. Head over to get on the list to be the first to be notified.  

http://yourkickasslife.com/317

It’s been a minute since I brought you an episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. If you’ve been hanging on to the edge of your seat waiting for the next one to appear in your podcast feed, well, today is your lucky day. Conversations About Shit That Matters is back! If you are new to this series, it features candid conversations with my real-life friends about stuff that happens in everyday life. This is not an episode that offers expert advice, tools or tips. Instead, my friends (who may be experts in other fields) and I come on to talk, explore, and share about specific topics affecting our lives and the world in which we live. 

This week, returning guest Kate Anthony joins me to talk about anxiety and depression. We’ve both struggled with anxiety, and Kate with depression. In this episode, we share our experiences and how we navigate these challenges in our own lives. We do also share some of the strategies we employ in our own self-care regimens. But please note, we are not licensed professionals around this topic. I really hope you enjoy this conversation! 

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Our experiences with anxiety in childhood and our teen years (7:16)
• Kate shares her experience with depression and about when her depression and anxiety began to manifest (23:00)
• My story about how I was diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder and how I felt so betrayed by my own body (25:00)
• Anxiety and depression medication that helped us and some of the side effects we had (27:00)
• Our self-care practices and strategies for navigating anxiety and depression (36:01)

http://yourkickasslife.com/316

Last week I sent out an email telling you all that January 2nd was the second birthday for How to Stop Feeling Like Shit. Over 170,000 copies sold and more than half of those are the audiobook version. It fills my heart with immense gratitude knowing that so many of you have read or listened to HTSFLS. In this podcast episode, I go over what shame has to do with all of the 14 habits I write about in the book. From Isolating and numbing out, to perfectionism and overachieving, it all has to do with shame. 

I go on to talk more specifically about some in regards to all the habits. In talking about this book for the last two years, I heard which behaviors resonated the most with all of you. Tune in to the episode to see which ones! 

The thing is, the real work happens when we take action. Reading books and listening to podcasts is fantastic, and the thing that’s going to allow you to have the most momentum and see the biggest results is when you take what you read or listen to and integrate it into your life. 

As I mention in the episode, as a gift you, you can download the PDF version of all the “hard questions” from the chapters in HTSFLS below. 

Resources mentioned in this episode:
How To Stop Feeling Like Shit
Episode 312: Sexuality and Spiritual Awakening with Jessica Graham
Listen and Subscribe to Not Another Self-Help Podcast

http://yourkickasslife.com/315

This week on the podcast, I am re-broadcasting my conversation with Keith McArthur because NEW YEAR NEW YOU, right? Keith is the author of the book, “Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All.” He’s also the creator of My Instruction Manual, a website, podcast and book series providing high-quality personal development and content. I’ve been on Keith’s podcast twice and know him to be an amazing interviewer. 

So, about a year ago, I released an episode called, “New Year New You” (ep 262), in which I said, loud and clear, that you do not need a morning routine or for that matter, any routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle. But yet, I also realize that the new year can be overwhelming for many. That’s why I invited Keith to the show to talk about ways to calm the New Year overwhelm, help shift our mindset around goal setting, and share what he knows about our environment and how it can affect goal achieving. Plus, he shares what values, shame and commitment have to do with it all.  

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Why we put so much pressure on ourselves at the start of a new year and how shame comes into play (11:49)
• Keith’s take on the “New Year, New You” mentality (13:27)
• The biggest mistake people make when creating a goal or resolution. Plus, some science-based strategies for achieving your biggest, baddest goals (16:19)
• How an accountability partner can help you with goals and the science behind finding the right accountability partner (25:03)
• Some ways to get back on track if you lose sight or abandon a goal, hint: think ahead!  (27:43)
• Taking control of your environment and some ways to structure your environment for goal success (40:34)

Lastly, my new creative project with Amy Smith, Not Another Self-Help Podcast drops THIS FRIDAY, January 3rd! Please go take a listen, subscribe, and tell us what you think!