We have talked about EMDR on the show previously as a treatment for trauma. This week, Vanessa Pezo joins me to discuss how EMDR can be used for the treatment of other types of distress like performance anxiety or even common fears, like the fear of flying. We also discuss narrative exposure therapy, creativity as a tool for healing, and the complexity of trauma therapy for crime victims.  

Vanessa Pezo, LCSW (she/her) is a licensed therapist and trauma specialist based in Long Beach, CA. In her private practice, Vanessa specializes in serving diverse survivors of complex trauma using EMDR, cognitive behavioral therapy, narrative exposure therapy, and somatic techniques to help survivors of trauma find healing and recovery. 

We talk about:

• How EMDR can help with the treatment of other types of distress. (5:59)
• Narrative exposure therapy (NET): what it is and how it helps. (15:25)
• NET often uses writing as a way to reflect on past experiences. Vanessa speaks about using creativity as a tool for healing. (19:31)
• On Vanessa’s website she writes “After a trauma, we can sometimes fall into unhelpful patterns of thinking that change the way we view ourselves, others, and the world.” She explains what she means by that. (25:01)
• One modality isn’t going to work for everyone. (31:47)
• Trauma therapy for crime victims: navigating trauma while also navigating the criminal justice system can be a complex and long journey. (32:53)

http://andreaowen.com/439

This week I am talking to Bethany Webster about the mother wound. Bethany says, “When we are children and our mothers harm us, they are to blame. They are adults and are responsible for us. But as we grow up and turn into adults, it then becomes our responsibility to do the healing within ourselves. If you can walk the path of healing the mother wound and inner mothering, the rewards are so rich.” 

Bethany is a writer, international speaker, and transformational coach. She started blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced worldwide demand for her work. Through blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist theory, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing.

If you have a great relationship with your mother, don’t turn this episode off! Even if you have or had a good relationship with her, we can still struggle with some mother-wounding. Tune into this episode to hear about what the mother wound is and how to begin to heal from it. 

We talk about: 

• Bethany explains what the mother wound is and where it comes from. (5:06)
• Healing the four layers of the mother wound. (7:25)
• The cost of avoiding the mother wound and what prevents women from healing it. (13:47)
• How to heal the mother wound without mother-blaming. (20:14)
• What to do if/when your mother responds with “Oh, so it’s always my fault?” (36:53)
• Bethany’s experience with estrangement from her mother. (39:24)

http://andreaowen.com/438

Today’s minisode revolves around codependency. Many years ago, when I was in my 20s and in a difficult relationship, my therapist told me I was codependent. I read Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More and saw so much of myself in it. I highlighted all the symptoms and to be honest, at the time, I wasn’t totally clear on what I had to do to solve the problem. In this minisode, I’ll talk about: 

• Some common symptoms of codependency, as well as how it looked in my life when I was deep in it. 
• A quote from my friend and therapist Britt Frank about why she’s not a fan of the current narrative that surrounds codependency 
• What I wish I would have learned early on that would have helped me get better help 

You’ll hear: 

• The parts of us that people typically hate are the parts that are trying to protect us. (7:17)
• Why Britt says, “Depression is debilitating but it is NOT a chemical imbalance.” (11:38)
• Why addiction is NOT a disease. (15:35)
• We need to understand behavior function in order to get to behavior change. (19:29)
• If we could change our inner monologue to an inner dialogue we can calm the nervous system down. (23:19)
• Anxiety is as necessary to your health as the check-engine light is to your car. (29:49)
• If a medication or modality isn’t working for you, you’re not broken. Healing is complex. (39:27)
• Therapy is not about blaming your parents, it’s about becoming a parent to yourself. (43:21)
• Trauma is not always about the things that happened to you. It is also about the things that didn’t happen to you, but should have. (44:20)

http://andreaowen.com/436

I love learning about different trauma therapies and giving you options to find specialists who can help you heal. TikTok is rife with mental health professionals giving sound advice. I first came to know this week’s guest, Simone Saunders, when I saw her Tiktok video about a symptom of trauma: a sense of a foreshortened future. 

Simone is a mental health and wellness-based content creator and licensed therapist. She is known for creating content that breaks down psychoeducational topics into digestible pieces, normalizing mental health issues, and giving an inside look at the therapy process.

Together, Simone and I have a conversation about Accelerated Resolution Therapy, understanding internal family systems, and unpacking the various symptoms of trauma and failed attachment in childhood. 

You’ll hear:

• Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and how it helps reprogram the way in which traumatic memories and images are stored in the brain so that they no longer trigger strong physical and emotional reactions. (6:04)
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help individuals to heal. Simone shares some of the common categories of parts firefighters, managers, and exiles, as well.  (10:00)
• A symptom of trauma that is not talked about enough is a sense of a foreshortened future. Simone explains what it is and how it shows up. (23:30)
• Hyper-Independence and its relation to attachment. (25:30)
• How to talk to your family about your mental health journey and experience with therapy. (31:15)
• Simone answers, “Is therapy a life-long journey and should you take therapy breaks?” (40:38)

http://andreaowen.com/435

I open the podcast with a little follow up to episode 432– the episode on humiliation with Amy Smith. I had the biggest vulnerability hangover after airing that show, I couldn’t believe I released an episode that had me break down in tears for y’all to hear. However, that was my fear talking, saying I should pull the episode, and I could see that pretty quickly. In this minisode I give you my thoughts on that. 

Lastly, I talk about dogs, a quick history on how we got Giselle, and the epiphany I had the day after she died about one of the reasons people love dogs so much. 

Thank you for listening, and thank you to those of you who have watched Giselle over the years on my Instagram stories and who even knew her toys names! She was such a good dog, and I am in the throes of grief without her. If you would have met her, she would have LOVED you. She loved people, a lot more than she cared about other dogs. 

And to anyone who’s lost a pet they loved dearly, I see you.

On paper, Christie explains that her life was great. But inward, she was depressed, lonely, and isolated. She eventually agreed to go to therapy. In this episode, she shares her experience with getting psychologically and emotionally naked in a room of six complete strangers—a psychotherapy group—and how in turn she found human connection, and ultimately, herself. 

You’ll hear:

• Christie shares what led her to therapy in the first place and shares her journey to group therapy. (6:23)
• Group therapy: what it’s really like. (8:41)
• The highs and lows of group therapy. Christie shares one of highs, sharing a food secret with the group and one of her lows which have to do with jealousy about who is getting attention. (17:40)
• Shining a light on the issue is where the healing begins. (36:00)
• Insight and advice for those reluctant to go to group therapy. (40:55)

http://andreaowen.com/433